Mountains Lost

I declare myself lost without my friends. Everytime I hear one of their names all I want to do is call them, but all I really do is start to cry and then I tell myself that it's stupid to cry. But that’s how much I miss all of them. I want to call and talk to them, but I just can't get myself to actually do it. I miss you guys so much.
What is it with guys and getting into your mind? Even 6 hours away and knowing I won't see him for months I still can't help but think about him all the time. I missed an entire algebra lecture because I was staring off in to space thinking about him. Ahh. It's so annoying.

The Black Hills are literally hills. People call them mountains or peaks, like Harney peak the highest point east (I think) of the rocky mountains, and all they really are, are rolling mountains at the most. There are no beautiful peaks or ridges or anything that the rockies have. There are some awesome roads that look like fun to drive in a small car or ride a bike on. The black hills are pretty but they aren't enough to make me not miss Colorado. I miss seeing the mountains all the time. Here you have to drive for about 10 - 20 min. to see the hills. I don't know if I will last more than a year here before I transfer to somewhere else. I'm thinking that Norwich or I might even go as far as going in-state to Ft. Louis.

I'm at school and already hate it. There's a guy in my classes that seems to like me and I kind of like him, but I'm not sure. At times he reminds me of Mike Hack (sp), Which is really scary. There's this website for SDSM&T where you can rate guys or girls from the school. There are some really ugly guys here. http://techhottie.com/

Sorry this one has been deleted. If you haven't already read it then you missed out on a stupid useless confession.

Friends

I don’t give a fucking rat’s ass if I never see any of my friends again. I will just cry myself to sleep for awhile and then go on with my life as I have done in the past.

I've decided that it's the government’s fault that my grandpa died. That and the retard doctors and people who like or support bush in any way.

Boy Crazy

I like a guy a lot. So much that he's pretty much all I can think about. Sadly I have no chance with him since he has a girlfriend and doesn't like me. Life sucks. That’s kind of stupid to say when it’s just a guy, but it does.

I hate being at my mom's house. I feel like I don't belong there. I dread going there so much that I make myself sick. I want to do as my brother did and just not go back there but if I do that it will appear as if I’m stupid and petty like Ethan. He stopped going over to my dad’s because he didn't like my dad’s rules. My reason for wanting to stay at my dad’s all the time is nothing like that, but it something I could never tell my mom. How can you tell someone that you no longer want to live in their house because you don't love them like your suppose to and you can't stand their immaturity and you have always wanted a mom, something they have never been able to be and they just aren't what you want them to be? How can you tell someone that even though they gave birth to you, you don't love them you hate them for everything they've done wrong? I can't forgive her for anything she's ever done. I don't think I can stand even 10 more weeks here.