I hate being at my mom's house. I feel like I don't belong there. I dread going there so much that I make myself sick. I want to do as my brother did and just not go back there but if I do that it will appear as if I’m stupid and petty like Ethan. He stopped going over to my dad’s because he didn't like my dad’s rules. My reason for wanting to stay at my dad’s all the time is nothing like that, but it something I could never tell my mom. How can you tell someone that you no longer want to live in their house because you don't love them like your suppose to and you can't stand their immaturity and you have always wanted a mom, something they have never been able to be and they just aren't what you want them to be? How can you tell someone that even though they gave birth to you, you don't love them you hate them for everything they've done wrong? I can't forgive her for anything she's ever done. I don't think I can stand even 10 more weeks here.

All I want is to be held in someone’s arms and forget everything. All that is bothering me, all that is wrong and will never be fixed.
All I want is to hear those songs that remind me of when it was just my dad and me. When I didn't care if I had no friends. When I didn't know what stress was. When I didn't worry about paying for college. When I was just my dad’s little hippie.

I lied to you twice, but I'm not sorry. I just can't tell you the truth. It’s not the type of thing I can tell you the truth about. You probably already know I lied to you.
Double standards are for assholes. Think about that one the next time.

It seems spring break has once again fucked things up.

Fuck the world and everyone's pity fests.

All there really is to say is that everything now makes sense or at least when it comes to certain things.

God what the hell is wrong with you. It’s ok for you to do it at a different time, but when I do it you get pissed. I really want to say something, but to do so would mean confrontation and I hate confrontation. You have no clue how pissed I am right now.

Well I guess my question has been answered. The answer as I suspected is no.

He's done it again. He knocked me done in a matter of seconds. Why do I let him do this to me? He's almost as bad as my mom. She's the master of verbal abuse. One word and I’m gone groveling at her feet begging her to tell me what I can do to fix everything. It doesn't have to be my fault. I don't even have to be in the country and it still works. I thought I had finally gotten beyond it and figured out how to ignore it, but last night was proof that I haven't. I hope your happy asshole you made me cry. Not that that’s new, but this time I couldn't even keep it in until I was by myself. It's your fault that I couldn't go home and get in bed and go to sleep like I wanted. I had to wait until you were asleep because you have asbergers which means you have no control over what you do. Bullshit. It’s all just a lie. It’s a disease made up so dumb fucks can use it as an excuse for when they feel like hurting people.