I can't do it much longer. I need something more. Something to make all the hard times worth it. Something to know that there will be more to come.

I have discovered the best movie ever, Juno. The basic plot is Juno gets bored has sex with her best friend and gets pregnant. Sounds like a dumb movie, but it is absolutely amazing. Ellen Page is an amazing actress. She makes the movie even better than it would have been without her.
The soundtrack for the movie is awesome. Lots of obscure artists. Kimya Dawson's songs on the album are really weird, but way cool. There really are no words to describe them other than they draw you in.

I almost quite last night. There seems like there is no reason to keep going. I know it's almost over, but I don't know how I can like some of the girls after this week. Public humiliation is something I don't take easily. If they can be like this for one week it makes me wonder who they really are. During the day some of them act like they don't want us to join. They make me feel like I'm the scum of the earth, like I shouldn't even be there. They’re the ones that are supposed to want us there. Why do they treat us this way?
I told you I wouldn't cry again, but I did last night. I couldn't help it. I miss you so much. I know you aren't gone, but you're out of my reach and that hurts more than spending a summer apart. All week long I’ve been on the verge of crying and have been able to keep it bottled up except for twice. I'm sorry for embarrassing you in front of everyone. I really tried not to.

Another one for you love
Stay strong love. You're doing amazing. Everytime I see you all I want to do is run up to you and hug you. I am proud to say that you're my boyfriend. Here's a letter I started writing you. I haven't finished it yet, but thought you would like to read it.
Before we even began I knew you were the one. The one I wanted to be with until the end. The feelings I felt, were new to me. At first I could not place them. They didn’t seem to be sad, happy, mad or any of the feelings I knew. I would see you and my stomach would go crazy. I thought the feelings I was feeling might mean I actually liked you, but how could I like Miller Time. All I’d ever heard about you was bad stuff. Everyone always said Miller Time was a big partier who treated girls like shit. They never said anything about how you really are. How you are kind and caring and would go to the end of the world to help them. I never heard about all the times you helped girls out after parties. You an amazing boyfriend. It seems like a dream going out with you.

For my love

Love is always patient and kind.
It is never jealous.
Love is never boastful or conceded.
It is never rude or selfish.
It does not take offense.
It is not resentful.

I can't wait until I get to sleep with you again and touch you and talk to you, until everything is back to the way it was before. When I see you or even think about you all I can do is start crying. Last night was almost too hard. I'm sorry for crying in front of everyone. You're doing amazing. I'm so proud of you. You are the only reason why I keep going when I want to quit. I know you have it worse than me so I can't complain about it even when I want to. I LOVE YOU. You're absolutely amazing and so strong. Keep it up.

This week is probably the hardest week of my life because the most important person in my life is just out of my reach. I see him and want to run over to him and hug him and ask him how his days going and make him happy when he's not. I can't do that this week and it hurts more than anything I have ever experienced. When I see him walking towards me I have to walk away so that I don't do something that I'm not supposed to and get him in trouble.
For you my love I am going to make it through this week. It would be too hard if I didn't have you to think about. The only reason why I am doing as well as I am is because I have you to think about and I know you have it a hundred times harder than me. When you're going through hell and don't think you’re going to make it through the week, just remember that I LOVE YOU, you are my one and only love, my shining star. Good luck, you’re doing awesome.

SUMMERS ALMOST OVER. SUMMERS ALMOST OVER. One month left until I get to see Jason again. I can't wait. Time has been going by so slow. I can't wait. I think I might die before the 19th comes.