For my love

Love is always patient and kind.
It is never jealous.
Love is never boastful or conceded.
It is never rude or selfish.
It does not take offense.
It is not resentful.

I can't wait until I get to sleep with you again and touch you and talk to you, until everything is back to the way it was before. When I see you or even think about you all I can do is start crying. Last night was almost too hard. I'm sorry for crying in front of everyone. You're doing amazing. I'm so proud of you. You are the only reason why I keep going when I want to quit. I know you have it worse than me so I can't complain about it even when I want to. I LOVE YOU. You're absolutely amazing and so strong. Keep it up.

This week is probably the hardest week of my life because the most important person in my life is just out of my reach. I see him and want to run over to him and hug him and ask him how his days going and make him happy when he's not. I can't do that this week and it hurts more than anything I have ever experienced. When I see him walking towards me I have to walk away so that I don't do something that I'm not supposed to and get him in trouble.
For you my love I am going to make it through this week. It would be too hard if I didn't have you to think about. The only reason why I am doing as well as I am is because I have you to think about and I know you have it a hundred times harder than me. When you're going through hell and don't think you’re going to make it through the week, just remember that I LOVE YOU, you are my one and only love, my shining star. Good luck, you’re doing awesome.

SUMMERS ALMOST OVER. SUMMERS ALMOST OVER. One month left until I get to see Jason again. I can't wait. Time has been going by so slow. I can't wait. I think I might die before the 19th comes.

Love is always patient and kind.
It is never jealous.
Love is never boastful or conceded.
It is never rude or selfish.
It does not take offense.
It is not resentful.

1:32 a.m. and I have woken up. Umm actually that’s slightly wrong. I was woken up by my drunken roommates at 12:49. Why you might ask do I know the exact time I was woken up. Well I looked at my watch as I thought it was too early to 6:00 a.m. when I have to get up. This has become a routine thing, me being woken up. I can almost guarantee it that I will be woken up by them if I go to bed before them. I have Chem 2 at 8 and Calc at 9. So when I am woken up on a nightly bases I have trouble paying attention in class the next day, because when you get woken up after sleeping for an hour or two it's like taking a nap and I'm not tired afterwards. A few times Deanna has said well you know it is only 8 or 9 or whatever you can't expect to get any sleep. I told them the first week of school that I go to bed early and get up early. So they should know and respect it, but they can't. They complain when I make the slightest noise in the morning, but think its fine to wake me up at night when I still have at least 5 hours to sleep left.
I finally told one of them that they wake me up almost every night. My exact words when she said sorry for waking me up were "its ok I’m used to it. I get woken up almost every fucking night"
I am off to try to force myself to sleep.

It's official I hate South Dakota. The liberal me just doesn't fit in at all here. They hate liberals here and in most of the states that surround South Dakota

Its only 8:30 and already all I want to do is go to sleep. I don't want to go hang out with anybody or do anything. Just go to sleep and make all the pain go away. Sleep is the only time that I am remotely happy.
I shouldn't have done it, I shouldn't have done it. Grrrrr, I’m stupid. I messed everything up. Again.
love is it worth all the tears
do we really love or do we just want someone to be there
you can be so happy
or you can be so confused and worried
you may be able to laugh with that person but is that enough
you maybe completely googoo eyed over one another
But the next thing you know something is happening and something goes bad
and then you two will never be the same
???why do we put ourselves through the pain???